Attract Abundance

Is positive thinking something you struggle with, or have you mastered the art of maintaining positive thoughts and a positive outlook all the time?

Of course I ask that last question in fun, because we’re all human afterall. And, if you’re like me, maintaining a positive attitude doesn’t always come easily. So … I received the following email recently and thought now would be the perfect time to answer it!

“Michelle, I think a really helpful question for you to address and one that is always one of my biggest challenges, is how to stay positively focused. Because I find that I can have a certain mindset or try to have it, but then reality sets in and my automatic default reactions and thinking come back. How do you suggest I can overcome this?”

This is a great question because it’s one we can all relate to.

If we look at society as a whole and not focus on any one particular person, just about everything around us is saying we have a poor self esteem level. We “need” the latest gadgets and products to help us “feel” good about ourselves when in fact it is only a quick fix. In the long run, that big screen TV just doesn’t do it for you anymore or that new car is in fact getting old.

When we catch ourselves “reacting” to something and interrupting our day of bliss, we are in fact allowing our emotions to get control.

As an example, several authors say that when you engage in an argument with somebody or go on stewing about a disagreement, you are in fact giving away your power to that person who you’re not getting along with. So guard against letting in their negative influences or energy, which gives those negative energies “control” – or the upper hand – because when you do, you are effectively giving them permission to do so.

So what to do if your boss yells at you for something you did wrong? Well, be open to learn from the lesson and be grateful for it. Allow your boss to be who he or she wants to be and allow yourself to be free to learn as much as you can so you can grow from the experience.

Allow yourself to be human

Everyone has had failures. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Forgive yourself and learn to look at your day with gratitude. This will in turn allow in more feelings of well being.

Many experts also suggest that you must do away with the ego in order to be free of this attachment, however you cannot stop being who you are, or stop being yourself –- that’s resistance, which then keeps you out of balance.

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Seek Balance

The key to stop allowing others to influence you and your environment is to maintain a balanced self-esteem. To love yourself more. To allow others to be who they are, and not to judge.

By judging you are focusing on what it is you do not want and … surprise, surprise … allowing your emotions to control yourself.

Can you imagine how wonderful this world would be if everyone had a balanced self-esteem? There would be no more judgment, no more trying to prove others are wrong and you are right. People would be free to live their lives.

So my suggestion on how to stay positive is to practice building a balanced self-esteem. Do the right things for your body and mind. Exercise and take care of yourself, and appreciate how wonderful you feel. Practice detachment from what others do or say, as you hope that they will themselves learn to do someday.

My daughter is a teenager. She has a habit now of constantly wanting to be right. She corrects me at every opportunity. Even if I did say the correct thing, she will point out the fact that I ALMOST said the wrong thing there. I too am learning to allow her to learn from this behaviour and to not let her energy in. And it’s not always easy!

On the other hand, my 6 year old son is in a stage where he often times wants to be bossy, but he has yet to reach the “I’m right and you’re wrong” stage. Although, he’s particularly bossy with his sister and will even get into the “no, you’re wrong” mode with her (which is where he probably learned the behaviour from in the first place). He’ll often pester her non-stop in this way because she is ignoring him. But overall, my son is still of the mindset with me that as the parent, I am still right … period. He’s also pretty forgiving.

So he is a great teacher here, he allows me to be Mom and then move on to the next thing. Have you noticed that with most, younger kids, when you tell them something they don’t try to change your thinking? Instead, they generally just observe you and move on. Great lesson.

So this notion of letting others influence you is in fact a learned behaviour, and once you unlearn it – or master not allowing it to influence you – you will find you are able to maintain a much more positive state of mind.

Copyright © 2009 by Michelle Wojnowski, all rights reserved.

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