Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
Gratitude And Your Happiness – 5 Key Benefits of Gratitude
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Improve Your Relationship Using Law of Attraction
Better Relationship Tips, Coping With Anger From A Loved One
How to Improve Your Relationships Audio
In this audio Michelle Wojnowski walks us through her ideas about how to improve your relationships. She shares some powerful insights about how to improve relationships of all types — work, partner, family, friends. If you find your relationship isn’t “working”, the solution lies within you. Listen now.
Related postsHow To Build Rock Solid Friendships That Last
Your relationship with your friends are among the most important factors in determining the quality of your life.
Friendships are one of the most important relationships we have as human beings. Without friends, we would feel lonely, rejected, and left out. Even in a marriage, we need friends outside of the relationship to fulfill our social needs or help us through difficult situations.
Building rock-solid friendships takes loyalty, trust, and honesty and it can’t happen overnight. Most people have rock-solid friendships with only a couple of people or a handful at the most. The truth is a friendship is about quality, not quantity. Yes, you can have several friends, but most are merely casual friendships and don’t have that deep inner connection.
A good example of this is Jesus. He had 12 disciples, but only three were considered as his closest companions, Peter, James, and John. Jesus had companionship with all 12, but only three were truly close to him, like a best friend.
The Friendly Sacrifice
Being a true friend also requires sacrifice. In a rock-solid friendship, we may be asked to give up our desires for our friend’s needs. Our friend may need us when it’s not so convenient for us, like in the middle of the night. In a rock-solid friendship, this would involve sacrificing the comfort of a good night’s sleep in a nice, warm bed in order to be there for our friend. But that’s what friends do!
Give and Take
In a rock-solid friendship, there is both give and take. There are mutual feelings between the parties and it’s never one-sided. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be conflicts because we’re human, after all. However, when there is a conflict between two very close friends, the struggles usually don’t last long because there is forgiveness, understanding, and communication.
- Forgiveness means that you let go of any malice or grudges and you move forward at peace with one another.
- Understanding comes from knowing your friend inside and out – knowing where they’re coming from and knowing what they’re going through.
- Communication means that you connect with your friend with an overall understanding of his or her relating style.
- When a friendship is truly rock-solid, the parties are real with each other; there are no facades, no masks and no secrets. There is trust, honesty, sincerity and loyalty, however, and this comes only as a friendship grows.
How to Connect With a New Friend
You may have stumbled upon someone new by chance or through friends and if there is enough common interest, you may decide to meet again. Sounds pretty obvious, right?
With each encounter you have, your relationship grows and strengthens. Then as you continue to get to know one another, the communication gets easier and you become more comfortable with each other. The key here is that it can’t happen overnight. If you try to force it, you may make the other person feel uncomfortable and threatened, so go at a smooth and steady pace.
Showing Your True Colors
As the friendship continues to blossom, casual friends build trust and loyalty through both the peaks and valleys of life. However, it’s in the difficult times that a person’s true colors are revealed. When you’re going through a tragedy, a personal crisis, or simply a rough patch, it is the rock-solid friends that are there to help lift you back up.
Friends Help Friends Grow
True friends help each other grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. A true friendship requires both unconditional love as well as tough love.
Building a rock-solid friendship takes time to achieve, but once you’re in a rock-solid friendship with someone, you will know who you can trust. Neither distance, nor hard times can spoil a truly rock-solid friendship.
Would you like more tools to help you build better relationships and live a happier, healthier, more abundant and fulfilling life? Our Self Help Store has a wide range of tools and programs to help you that you won’t find anywhere else
This personal growth article is brought to you by Inspired Abundance (InspiredAbundance.com)
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How To Improve Your Relationships
Michelle Wojnowski hanging out in the airport with her family
We receive so many emails that ask how to improve your relationships — whether it is with your partner or spouse, your neighbor, your co-workers, your children, etc. Today, I’d like to walk through one scenario to help you address this question.Let’s take a stab at your relationship with your next door neighbor for instance to help us put relationships into a different perspective. Let’s say you and your neighbor next door talk about once a year or once a month on the other side of the fence. Is your neighbor responsible for your happiness? Think about this for a minute. The answer is no, of course not. It is not their responsibility to make you happy. It is only your responsibility to make yourself happy. You do not rely on anyone else to make you happy in any relationship, whether it is your neighbor, your co-workers or your spouse/partner.
When we are in a relationship with someone and it is not going great, that is because we are ultimately not happy with ourselves. What you have to do is to find out ways to make yourself happy and not rely on that partner or coworker to boost you up all the time. Take a step away from this attachment you carry in the relationship. Now is the time to find something that fulfills your passion. Go out there and do things that make you happy first.
Don’t rely on anybody else to make you happy (whether it is your boss, your employees, or partner). Instead, find something that really is passionate for you. Whether it is something big or something small, start tackling it a little bit a time even and break it down into steps. If you have a great big goal of one day being able to scuba dive off the Great Barrier Reef off the coast of Australia, and you live in the far east corner of Canada, start by taking up scuba diving lessons in your area. Get more information on your passion and learn as much as you can about it. The point is to begin to move towards this big passion you have. You will soon find you become excited and happy much more easily.
The magic that happens from this little step is that you begin to please yourself — you are doing things that you want to do for yourself. This bubbles over into every area of your life, into everything that you do, thereby providing you with more balance. So this passion grows and from this happy state that you have created for yourself, positive joy begins to flow into every relationship you have. Every relationship you have with your co-workers, your partner/spouse, or your neighbor will blossom because you are in a grounded state of happiness. You have found something about which you are passionate and towards which you are working. You are no longer stuck.
If you want better relationships, your assignment is to find something that you are passionate about. Find something that makes you happy. Don’t look externally at your relationships to keep you happy, for it is not anybody’s responsibility to please you, for they are not the keeper of you. They are the keeper of themselves and they are responsibility for their own happiness. They too have to find something that fills their passion and let them do what they want to do for themselves. It is a lot more fun this way and then there is no dissapointment in your relationship with others for you are not attached to their level of happiness.
Keep reminding yourself that people have their own right to their happiness, just as much as you do to yours.
Ready to improve your relationships and start living a better life? Our 7 Steps to Happiness program will help you find happiness in your life, starting today. Click here now to start living a better life today
Copyright © 2009 by Michelle Wojnowski, All Rights Reserved
Related postsRelationship Tips: How to Build a Rock-Solid Foundation
“How to Build a Rock-Solid Foundation for Your Relationship”
When you’re just starting in a new relationship, you have so much to talk about! You may find that you share many of the same hopes and dreams for the future.
As the relationship grows, you want to be sure you’re building a rock-solid foundation on which to base your relationship. Having that solid foundation will help your relationship weather the storms of life and bring you joy together.
In the past it wasn’t unusual for couples to stay married to the same person for their entire adult life. It was expected that you would only have one spouse unless death took them away. It was also expected that couples would buy a home and remain in that community to raise their children.
Commitment and community stability were two of the mainstays of the solid foundation marriages were built upon.
Modern marriages
In today’s global economy, you’re no longer expected to stay in your same community your entire life. You may, instead, travel the country or the world during your professional career. However, you can still have a committed marriage that grows stronger as the years pass.
Unfortunately though, it seems that people today are afraid of true commitment. Instead of entering a marriage with the intention to stick around no matter what, many people go into marriage with the idea that, “I can always get a divorce if things don’t work out.” Having that idea, even if it’s not a conscious thought, makes leaving much easier when the going gets tough.
The road to a committed marriage with a rock-solid foundation is a journey based upon a familiar road map. A couple must decide if they’re willing to make the journey together regardless of where the road may lead.
Relationship stages
Here are the normal relationship stops you will likely find as you move along your journey together:
- Romance. Romantic love is the easiest form of love. In fact, it’s nearly effortless. This love truly is blind. Each person believes the other is perfect and that their love can withstand any stresses that may come. This period generally lasts about two years but can change as early as six months.
- Adjustments. After the blinders come off, the couple begins to realize their beloved isn’t as perfect as they thought. There may also be a small hiccup in their relationship as adjustments are made. This is where the real relationship begins.
- Compromise. A power struggle usually ensues after each partner realizes they must adjust some of their dreams for reality. At this point one or both may decide to leave the relationship. However, if they can stand together during this time, the relationship has a good chance of beating the odds.
- Re-evaluation. Next comes a point where each one re-evaluates their relationship. They turn to friends and family to get confirmation that they weren’t foolish after all. An affair is more likely now than at nearly any other point of a relationship.
- Together again. There is a drawing together again from this point. They may still have conflicts and differences, but each one is more giving and forgiving where needed. They’ve weathered some storms and are ready for the next stop.
- Acceptance. This is the end of the road for building a rock-solid foundation. They’ve learned to express their own needs while looking out for the needs of their partner. No one expects the other to meet their every need, and there is a balance of being individuals as well as a couple.
This is a crucial time of learning to solve problems, negotiating to get what they want, and resolving conflicts.
They must hold fast to their commitment and re-learn who they are as individuals.
They can now meet any storm head on and come out standing together with the foundation intact. From this point forward, their love and commitment only grows stronger.
Additional relationship building blocks
On top of the foundation of love and commitment, there needs to be trust, conscious attention to your partner, and mutual respect. With these building blocks placed upon a solid foundation, your relationship will always be strong.
Remember this road map in your journey with your loved one, build a rock-solid foundation, and enjoy true love for life.
Related postsWhy It’s Important to Make Sacrifices in Relationships
Personal growth article brought to you by Inspired Abundance
“It’s important to learn the value of sacrifices and understand why it’s important to make sacrifices in relationships”
When you love someone and you have their best interest at heart, you may be willing to sacrifice some of what you want in order to give your loved one what they want.
It’s common for spouses to make sacrifices for one another and parents to sacrifice for their children. It’s important to learn the value of sacrifices even though they may not be pleasant.
Many experts feel that the willingness to set aside one’s own desires for the benefit of another is a good thing. It shows true love and commitment when you can put your partner’s needs ahead of your own desires.
Your attitude towards sacrifices
Some women feel they’ve made too many sacrifices for their partners. They may have given up their dream to hold a certain job or put off going to school. At first the sacrifice may have been for the partner’s benefit, but then came children. The sacrifices continued until the dream they once had merely faded away.
What’s wrong with this picture? Was the woman the only one who made sacrifices for the relationship and the family? Is she using her choices as excuses for not pursuing dreams when she could have still done so?
How you view sacrifice is what matters! You can see the sacrifices you make as a choice for what really matters, rather than something that you have to give up. Because fundamentally, every sacrifice is in fact a choice — it’s a deliberate decision that you’ve made.
If you’re committed to your relationship, it’s possible you won’t even see your willingness to give something up for your partner’s benefit as a sacrifice at all!
Make good choices in your sacrifices
You want to be sure, however, that you make sacrifices for good reasons and that your partner also sacrifices for you. Marriages and partnerships are supposed to be for the benefit of both partners. Therefore, sacrifices must go both ways.
It’s important that you never feel like you’re forced to make a sacrifice. It must be something that you do willingly, with no regrets.
In addition, your sacrifices should never compromise your morals or personal values. These types of sacrifices will most certainly leave you with regret and feelings of guilt. Unfortunately, the partner who would ask you to compromise your values may not the best partner for you.
Values such as these should never be compromised for someone else:
- Honesty. If you feel you’re being asked to sacrifice honesty to help a loved one out, explain why this is a sacrifice you cannot make.
- Loyalty. Loyalty is part of who you are, deep on the inside, and giving that up would mean giving up a part of yourself. Agreeing to do so would only sour the relationship further down the road.
- Faithfulness. What do you do if you find out your partner has cheated? If fidelity is a value you hold dear, it’s unlikely the relationship will survive. It’s possible, however, to learn to forgive, but it may be more difficult to learn to trust again.
Any relationship you enter into is going to require some give and take by each partner. Be willing to sacrifice, choose wisely in your sacrifices, and your relationship will thrive!
Related postsTips On How to Handle Household Arguments Effectively
Personal growth article brought to you by Inspired Abundance
“Learn How to Handle Household Arguments Effectively”
Inevitably, if there’s more than one person living in your house, at some point in time there will be arguments. The trick is to learn how to handle household arguments effectively while maintaining loving relationships.
Amazingly, many people treat complete strangers better than they treat their own spouse or children. As important as it is to treat others well, it’s more important to treat those you love even better.
How to avoid arguments
The best way to handle arguments at home is to avoid them in the first place. How do you do this? Avoid miscommunication. Repeat what the other person is saying so there’s no doubt about their intended meaning. Resolve not to fight over misunderstandings.
Here are some communication tips that can help your family avoid arguments:
- Be gentle. Try to control the tone of your voice, the look on your face, and your body language when you’re talking with family members. If you speak with a gentle tone, arguments are less likely to start.
- Trust. Develop a solid relationship with your spouse and children by keeping lines of communication open, building trust between all family members, and giving each other the benefit of the doubt.
- Respect privacy. Keep your disagreements strictly between the parties involved rather than discussing them in the open. This also means that you must avoid arguing in front of your children.
How to handle arguments
If an argument does occur, here are some ideas to handle it effectively:
- Time out! Stop the argument if it becomes a shouting match with one insult after another. Ask for five minutes to think about what’s already been said. This will give both parties a chance to calm down and regain their composure.
- Be willing to accept that you may be wrong. During the course of the time out, did you realize you were in the wrong? Listen to the other person’s side of the story before you assert your own innocence. You may have said or done something unknowingly that hurt the other person.
- Apologize. Be sure to express remorse over your part in the problem and try not to do it again. Ask the other person to forgive you.
- Is someone hurting? Realize that the other person may be hurt in some way, but it may be expressed through anger, tears, or insults. By arguing, they may actually be reaching out for help or support.
- Hormones and illness. Consider how the other person’s gender may be playing a role in the argument. Perhaps a woman’s monthly cycle is causing her to be overly emotional. Maybe one person has been ill and is really striking out at others just because they feel bad.
- Above all, love! Remember that no matter what the argument is about, you love the other person. Your goal should be to come to a solution where both parties win.
- Forgive. Once the situation has been resolved, forgive one another and forget about the whole thing. Determine not to bring the situation up again. It’s over; let it go.
When your children argue
There are many things you can do to promote harmony between your children and reduce their conflicts.
Try these ideas to keep the peace:
- Avoid comparing your children. They’re individuals and should be treated that way. Be sure to let your children know how special they are.
- Establish rules and household responsibilities. This will let them know what’s expected of them. Include rules about how they should treat one another. Let them know that hitting and name-calling are off limits in your home. Decide as a family what the consequences will be if they break the rules.
- Give each child your attention. Many disagreements between children are based upon trying to get their parent’s attention. If you reinforce to each child that they’re special and that you love them, they’ll have less reason for arguing and more reason to dwell in the family’s love.
Make the right decision
In the long run, each person in the family makes the decision to argue or not. If you decide that you won’t be dragged into an argument, the argument will often end of its own accord.
These are not the only ways to effectively handle household arguments, but they may be enough to make the arguments less frequent so your family feels more secure, loved, and peaceful.
Related postsHow to Build Trust and a Trusting Relationship
How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Partner
Personal growth article brought to you by Inspired Abundance
Ask any couple that’s been married for ten years or more and they’ll tell you how important trust is in their relationship. In fact, trust is probably one of the most important aspects of any relationship.
If you need to establish or re-establish trust in your relationship, there are proven techniques you can use to make it happen.
Trust, in its simplest definition, is creating a place where another person feels emotionally safe. They know they can tell you their deepest secrets without fear that you’ll share them with others. They can be themselves with you and know that you’ll still love them.
For couples in a long term relationship
What can you do to build a more trusting relationship with your partner?
The answers may surprise you:
- Make improving your communication skills one of your top priorities. Learn how to be a good listener.
- This means you don’t interrupt your partner while they’re talking unless there’s an emergency. Work extra hard at ensuring you understand what your partner has said.
- Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. Say “I feel…” rather than “You make me feel…” This will help convey your feelings instead of attacking your partner.
- “You” statements are nearly always taken as a personal attack. This may not be your intent, but it’s almost always the result.
- Act and speak positively about your partner, especially in front of other people. It’s easier to trust someone who speaks well of you. Conversely, if someone speaks about you in a nasty way, you’re likely to distrust them.
- If you have something negative to say, try to say at least five positive statements prior to making the negative statement.
- Don’t go to bed angry. This may be one of the best pieces of advice for any married couple or people in a long-term relationship.
- Instead of going to bed upset and getting up the next day still angry, do whatever you can to resolve any issue that could strain your relationship. This means you’ll need to have good problem solving skills but they can be learned. It just takes practice.
For couples just starting to date
You can do a lot to build a trusting relationship when you first begin dating.
These tips will help:
- Make dates and arrive on time. If you have to arrive later than planned, call your partner to let them know you’ll be late. This helps your partner learn that you’re true to your word.
- If you’ve promised to do something, follow through with it. Of course, there may be circumstances that keep you from following through. Be sure to call your partner if something happens so they’ll be aware of the change in plans.
- Men, don’t keep your feelings bottled up inside. One way to earn the trust of women is to express your feelings. Being open and transparent is a better choice and will help establish and build your partner’s trust in you.
- There are some things you may want to keep to yourself. For example, if you see someone attractive walking down the street, you may not want to tell your partner. In fact, the better course of action would be to keep your eyes on your partner and pay special attention to what they’re saying.
Trust is so important in relationships. Use the ideas above to work at building trust between you and your partner. It takes time to build and maintain a trusting relationship, but the benefits are more than worth it!
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