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How to Appear Confident Even When You’re Not

Learning how to appear confident — even when you don’t necessarily feel that way on the inside — is a skill that can only help you in your life.

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If you’re struggling with how to appear confident, the good news is that there are plenty of things you can do to. Try these tips for how to appear confident and calm, even if you’re shaking in your boots.

The truth is that no one feels confident all of the time, but sometimes you want or need to appear confident nonetheless. You might be on a date, have a job interview, or attending a company function. There are times it can be helpful to appear confident, even if you’re feeling anything but.

If you’re struggling with how to appear confident, the good news is that there are plenty of things you can do to.

12 Tips for How to Appear Confident

Try these tips for how to appear confident and calm, even if you’re shaking in your boots.

1. Maintain good eye contact.

Consider where confident people look while you’re engaged in a conversation with them. They aren’t looking at their feet or gazing around the room. They look you in the eye. This isn’t a staring contest, but look the other person in the eye the majority of the time.

2. Stand or sit up straight.

Confident people don’t slouch. Stand tall and proud. The same goes for sitting. People that lack confidence slouch and try to appear as small as possible. Be tall and make people notice.

3. Keep your hands out of your pockets.

This will reduce fidgeting. Showing your hands also shows confidence. Keep your hands where others can see them.

4. Avoid fidgeting.

Your hands don’t have to be in your pockets to fidget. Avoid picking at your clothes, your face, or your hands. This is a sure sign of nervousness.

5. Smile.

You’re happy and confident, so smile. Smiling puts others at ease. It puts you at ease, too.

6. Walk confidently.

Watch movies to see how a confident person walks. Take purposeful strides. Look like you have someplace to go without looking like you need to get there in a hurry.

7. Speak slowly.

Does James Bond speak quickly? No. He takes his time and enjoys the attention. Confident people have been shown to speak more slowly than the average person. Nervous people tend to speak more quickly. Slow down and take your time. People will assume you’re confident.

8. Unfold your arms.

When you fold your arms, it looks like you’re trying to protect yourself. There’s nothing to fear, so unfold your arms, be tall, and smile. Just allow your arms to hang naturally by your side.

9. Keep your head up.

There’s nothing interesting going on down on the floor. This is the human version of an ostrich sticking its head in the sand. If you’re pretending to be confident, keep your head up. By the way, an ostrich only sticks its head in the sand to check on its eggs.

10. Speak at a reasonable volume.

When you’re feeling shy, you’re likely to speak too softly. It’s better to be a little too loud than a little too soft if you’re trying to appear confident.

11. Use gestures when you speak.

Gesture naturally when you’re speaking. Watch your favorite actor for tips. Just ensure they’re playing a confident role!

12. Tell yourself that you’re confident.

Repeat to yourself, “I am confident and powerful.” Keep repeating it to yourself. It will crowd out other thoughts, and you might even believe yourself. Try out a few affirmations and see which one makes you feel the best.

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These tips for how to appear confident really work

Use these tips for how to appear confident to convince others that you are, even when you’re not. Adopt the mannerisms of someone that is confident, and you’ll look confident to the rest of the world. Tell yourself you’re a confident person. Pretend you’re confident and you’ll start feeling that way.

About the Author Hugh Warren

An Intrinsic Coach® and enthusiastic student of personal development, I've been actively writing on a range of related topics for over 10 years. The range of topics I share has varied over time, but I try to pick ones that will hopefully strike a chord with you. You may or may not always enjoy everything I write, but if you appreciate the effort please make a point to share it with someone else.

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